UK Football Fans Delighted by Authentic Atlantan Sucking at Football

0
3190
PHOTO: 55thstreet

LONDON–U.K. sports fans were dazzled this weekend by the sight of just how much a team can suck at American-style football, courtesy of our very own Atlanta Falcons. The Falcons displayed effective footballing in the first half, amassing a substantial 21 point lead, then spent the second half doing a kickline with the cheerleaders, allowing the Detroit Lions to score again and again.

London born rugby and football fan, Nigel Pipsworth, 32, said he’d thoroughly enjoyed the “contest” out on the “pitch.” “You chaps couldn’t have set it up any better,” said Pipsworth, “To get ahead by twenty one points, and then completely cock it up? Good show!”

And U.K. upper class were just as delighted as the man on the street. “Well done those men,” said Dinsdale Penslington Twystleburt, Earl of Funnybottom. “An excellent joke to come thousands of miles, only to be an embarassment, eh wot? What’s that, Standish? They’re serious? Poppycock.”

Even the Queen herself was pleased with the Falcon implosion.

“We are amused,” she said. “We thought we knew what sucking was after seeing the Belgians in the war. Now we know better.”