Happy International Women’s Day From The Atlanta Banana

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Pictured: an alleged woman. PHOTO: Tetra Pak

In honor of non-men everywhere, The Atlanta Banana would like to offer their warmest regards to its female readership by wishing them a very happy Women’s Day.

Women’s Day, established in 1909, was designed to celebrate and raise awareness of women, established roughly 1.5 million years prior (or, depending on who you ask, roughly 6000 B.C., shortly after Adam). At press time, reports show that there roughly 3.6 billion women in existence, comprising slightly over one half of Earth’s population.

For the past 101 years, Women’s Day has sought to celebrate the many individual and historical achievements of women, including, but not limited to: winning the vote in 1920, Marie Curie’s pioneering efforts in the field of radioactivity, Hillary Clinton, giving birth, and the general catchall of “not starting wars.”

The Atlanta Banana interviewed a few local and international females to see how real women are celebrating this day.

“It’s Women’s Day? That’s a thing? Ha, that’s pretty cool, I guess,” said Atlanta resident Charlotte Weimer, 27, a woman. “Um, I guess I’ll drink a glass of wine or something.”

“This is a great honor,” said Amira Budwhani, a resident of Pakistan (where today is known as “International Male Baby Maker’s Day”). “I plan to celebrate by continuing to not drive a car or vote.”

1 COMMENT

  1. I drank a beer instead…I didn’t wanna be all “stereotypical” and like other stuff…duh

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