Governor Deal Legalizes Marijuana in Georgia for Duration of Storm

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Go nuts out there, gang!

ATLANTA, GA–In an effort to calm citizens and allay fears that the impending wintry mix storm will again disable the state, Governor Nathan Deal announced last night that the recreational use of marijuana will be legalized for the duration of the storm. The announcement comes as a surprise to Georgia pot dealers, who are now experiencing the same rush typically only seen in grocery store bread and milk aisles.

Governor Deal addressed assembled press and officials last night:
“I would like to not only continue, but enhance my apology after the last winter storm by legalizing, for the duration of the coming winter storm, the recreational use of marijuana in the state of Georgia,” he said.

The governor added that he didn’t condone the use of marijuana for recreational purposes, or even for medical purposes, but conceded that everyone could use “a big dose of chilling out,” after the Snow Jam 2014 disaster just a few short weeks ago.

The previous storm caused extreme discomfort for motorists stuck in their cars on Georgia roadways due to clogged, barely-navigable roadways. In some cases, drivers spent over 24 hours in their cars. The disaster was somehow a great source of amusement for people who live in northern areas of the country.

The northern U.S. is a frozen, lifeless hellscape for months at a time, which is why no good looking or friendly people live there. Governor Deal reminded Georgians to take copious photos of themselves enjoying the gorgeous 65 degree days we will no doubt have as early as March, a time of year when frozen Yankee snow hipster families are likely debating whether or not they can thaw the family dog for consumption.

The governor concluded his address for apologizing once again for the previous snow storm.

“Aw, what the hell,” he said. “Y’all might as well go on and get gay married too. Let’s just get through this thing!”

79 COMMENTS

  1. this doesnt sur[rise me at all, the way this country is crumbling, with the surety of a monetary and economic crisis this year they may legalize drugs everywhere so the dope heads will simply stay stoned and starve to death rather than rioting, its when a country loses its moral values and principles and become a dirty filthy nation of sexual perverts, child molesters, pedophiles, criminals. dope heads and alcoholics, america is soon finished, and americans will deserve their karma, You have tried to tell me for years your vote meant something, so go back to the polls and vote again and lets see if it saves you.

        • Considering what an amazingly stereotypically ignorant redneck name ‘Billybob’ is, and how over-the-top the comment was, I am gonna go out on a limb and guess that it, too, was intended in a satirical spirit.

          • Mistress,

            I think you are on to something there. That’s probably why he goes by Billy Bob. Reminds me of the facetious song “We Don’t Smoke Marijuana in Miscogee”

    • Jeez dude take a chill pill. Funny thing about morales is that everyone has different ones and it shouldn’t matter to you what they are.

    • Marijuana used to be legal. The tobacco companies didn’t like the competition. There are proven medical uses for marijuana, one is relaxation, which would stop panic. Using weed doesn’t cause people to become violent such as alcohol usage does to some. People who smoke weed, are not in the deviants that you speak about in the moral decay. They are people like you and I who choose not to use alcohol, and may take a puff or two at night to sleep instead of a nightcap. Alcohol, is far a worse drug, for is can cause violent behaviors and one can overdose from its use and cannot from marijuana. There are people who are on the addictive side of both legal and illegal drugs, and the legal cause just as much harm. Legalizing marijuana for medical and personal use will have many benefits. Taxes as you speak of, and our country is trillions of dollars in the red. We must cap the spending and find ways to increase government income, and help people at the same time. NOT hurt them more. Legalizing marijuana through the USA could be what is needed. Do you not think there are people, LOTS of people on the roads on prescription drugs driving intoxicated as we speak? There are. And, NO, I do not smoke weed. I just understand the dilemma. You are correct, America will soon be finished, but it is because of our current President and his personal adjenda, not whether or not marijuana is legalized. He is Anti-American and anyone who can open their eyes could see that.

      • I read this article and immediately laughed out loud. Anyone who doesn’t see the satirical tone of this whole article is blind; you can’t just announce a 3-day legalization of something like this. While I do not partake myself (I am 26 and with a family, I cannot afford the risks), I agree with your post 100%. I am a heavily tattooed conservative (yes, they do exist!) and I think the United States would benefit greatly from recreational legalization, not only on a government income level (taxation) but on the individual basis, many who either don’t like alcohol, or don’t respond well to its effects would find another way to relax that excludes the possibility of violent side effects such as bursts of rage or extreme sadness that alcohol or even prescription drugs can cause. I myself would prefer to come home after work to a little ‘smokey treat’ as I used to call it instead of a beer, but like I said, it’s not worth the risks it poses to my family.

        I am even on the fence about legalizing it just medically. While I acknowledge to the fullest what medical uses it has, when its only legal this way, every Tom, Dick, and Harry will pretend they’re depressed or something to qualify for a medical card.

        The government needs to stop using marijuana as an element of propaganda to first act one way, then talk about its attributes in a completely different context. Not every marijuana user is going to end up with a needle in their arm or powder up their nose; not even a large fraction of them will. It’s not a gateway drug. Hell, I don’t even consider it a drug.

        The only thing in danger of someone smoking a little pot (responsibly, I might add) is the fridge.

      • You are incorrect, sir. Yes, it was legal once. But it was the Hearst corporation who realized hemp made better paper than wood, hence threatening the value of their vast timber holdings. So they used their considerable media power to run an anti-marijuana campaign (reefer madness, anyone?), and hemp was included under the eventual legislation outlawing weed. Mission accomplished.

        Of course, the newspapers are now one of the biggest victims of the internet. Scare tactics? Not possible.

      • America on dope, drugs or legalized marijuana, yeah lets make it real easy for the government to rule us. not being satirical, just saying.

    • Seriously, dude?
      #1 – its’ satire
      #2 – marijuana is safer than coffee, much less alcohol and nicotine

    • LOL Billy fails to see that the satire is targeting people like him.

      Goes to show you that there are millions of people who have no issue with government enforcing morality.

    • I completely agree with everything Billybob said. Makes sense to me. & To his defense, maybe he didn’t know this was a “satirical site”, neither did I. Ive never heard of this site. Therefore I wouldn’t be a bit surprised either if what Mr Deal said were true. The way this country & times are going these days. Nothing would surprise me at all. We live in sad times.

      • Regardless of your political beliefs, if you can’t see how obviously satirical this article is, you are indeed sad. I think it is a sure sign of intellectual decline in this country that articles for the Onion & Atlanta Banana [I mean, come on, the Atlanta Banana???], and other comedy sites that post news parodies are bombarded with comments by folks who clearly never learned how to distinguish satire from sincerity in school. Do you not remember ‘A Modest Proposal’? He was kidding, too. I am holding out hope that Billybob was fighting satire with satire, but the more I reread his comment, the more I wonder if it is meant in actual ignorant earnesty. In which case, what a hilarious perfect name for that hayseed.

    • well billybob ur a narrowminded fool. Mj is not dope.meth is dope heroin is dope etc. Do some research mj has been a medicinal herd since ancient china. Its an herb it heals but like anything its good in moderation.let me guess you drink alchohol. Wellresearch how it effects ur body and the people who use it. That sir is dope. And people like you is why we have the so called war on drugs. But only to have the gvt chose which cartel can bring the real drugs into the us.bcuz they pay the govt.so do some reasearch and get educated neanderthal.

    • I wonder if Billy Boob knows how many years of jail time his local black neighbors are spending in the state pen for a joint and how many of his “good ole boys” friends, stoned to the rafters, are sent home with a warning? And I wonder why he wants to spend all his tax dollars on incarceration instead of education.

    • GOV.NATHAN DEAL HAVE YOU GONE MAD? HOW CAN YOU LEGALIZE SOMETHING THAT CAN CAUSE MORE PROBLEMS THAN THIS STORM? YOU HAVE TRULY MADE A BAD VERY BAD DECISION. IF YOU ARE TRYING TO BE POPULAR,OR FAMOUS OR JUST COOL, THIS IS NOT GOING TO MAKE YOU ANY OF THESE THINGS. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO LOOK OUT FOR THE CITIZENS AND YOU ARE HURTING US MORE THAN HELPING. YOU ARE NOT BEING THE GOVERNOR GOD ORDAINED YOU TO BE. YOU DO NOT KNOW THE TROUBLE YOU JUST CAUSED MANY PEOPLE. YOU ARE NOT IN THE HOMES OF THESE POTHEADS. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THEIR PROBLEMS. IT MAKES ME WONDER IF YOU DO SMOKES IT SMH GOV.DEAL.

    • I understand that this is all a big joke to all of you. I see none of you are disabled and or none of your family or love ones have any pain. But for the people that have major pain and or have someone that has cancer and cant eat. I have been an amputee for the last 3 years.. I had my very bad car accident in 2008. I have alot of pain do to my right leg below the knee. I have 5 major surgeries before I got my leg amputation.. I also have left knee and hip problem.. NOONE UNDERSTANDS HOW IT IS UNLESS.. I see that none of you have never dealt with anyone whom is sick…. THANKS FOR ALL OF YOU THOUGHTS. CAUSE I BELIEVE GOD IS THE ONE IN CHARGE. I PRAY FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, AND FRIENDS THAT THEY NEVER TO DEAL WITH ANY PAIN.

  2. It seems to me like you don’t like the people who smoke pot. So why not let us stay stoned all the time and starve to death? Wouldn’t that solve your problem?

    P.S. Jesus sees the hate inside you and he doesn’t like it. He just told me this. I had a vision.

  3. I figure this is a farce. One sad thing is that so many people think just as billybob does. And he is so far from correct it is pathetic. The criminals that need to be off the streets are the ones who are killing, raping, robbing, stealing, and harming people in general. Marijuana is the least harmful of all drugs. Doctors write RX’s everyday that kill people. The new drugs that they advertise tell you right up front it can kill you. Instead of worrying about marijuana being the center of the things that people speak out about……WHY aren’t they bicthin’ about Obama and his lies, his ideas of “executive orders” and the fact the he believes since he is president he “can do whatever he wants”. There are so many things that need to be fixed in the political arena that the marijuana debate is null and void. There are so many medicinal advantages for this plant. But because of a few people, who evidently watched “Reefer Madness” way back in the day and believed that whole lie, still remaining caught up in the lie today. Even after 40-50 years. I suggest you all sit back with your heads stuck in the sand and continue to think you know all the right answers. Meanwhile I will be watching and cheering on those who are learning the values of medicinal marijuana. And watching those “Violent pot smokers” of which is BULLSHIT!!! Heroine addicts, Meth heads, Crack heads, alcoholics, and pill-poppers will do just about anything to get their next hit or fix….. violence is an option for them. I have never seen or heard of any violence due to a marijuana purchase or transaction. I have been around marijuana for 40 years…off and on. I have never seen someone who was high on pot go nutts!!!! So if you think marijuana is going to be the downfall of the American society….. YOU MISSED BY A LONG SHOT!!! The downfall of the USA has already occurred!!!! IT’S NAME IS BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA!!! Any man who believes he is untouchable, and can overstep Congress and the House of Representatives, along with the countless lies he has told DOES NOT DESERVE any AMERICANS LOYALTY!!!

    • That was a very good post Merry. You summed it up and yes Obama is a narcissistic, self centered, marxist, with socialist agendas. want to boost the economy and keep people out of jail that don’t need to be there? legalize weed for the entire United States. We have the largest prison population in the world and jail/prisons are so overcrowded as a result of petty bullshit stuff like weed possesion/DUIs. Don’t get me wrong as a recovering alcoholic I got a DUI (first and last) back in 2012 and haven’t even been to court yet, could take years but I’m sober now. Also as a person with depression and anxiety disorder, weed just ‘evens me out’ better than the meds I’m on. God bless you Merry and thank you:-)

    • Merry Ness, Thank you for not being stupid. You know this is a farce. I cannot understand a human that does believe this. Are you kidding me. Your post is well written, intelligent and a breath of fresh air for this articles replies. The people that scare me these days are the ones like billybob. I, as have you, have been around pot for most of my life and have yet to see anyone commit a violent crime regarding pot. I have, however, seen several really good friends go the wrong route and start doing meth and it was all downhill for them from there. Of course they were ousted from our group for being stupid meth head. Pot, not so much. Thanks for taking the time to write intelligently.

    • See by no literal definition is Cannabis a drug, when people stop looking at it as such the relation to such will eventually disappear. Other than that I agree.

  4. @ Conservative Thoughts. Thank you for being so eloquent with your post. I myself have been since 1989 and still am a recovering alcoholic (clean and sober almost 4 months after years of lengthy periods of sobriety but many relapses). When I have smoked marijuana it helped ‘even me out’ from my depression and anxiety disorders. Hell I’d rather smoke weed than take prescribed Xanax, a .5 dose and Paxil, a 20mg. dose twice a day as it helps a little but not nearly as much as the marijuana. Also being a drummer on and off for 38 years I couldn’t play worth a shit drunk but after a few tokes I could not only be more creative in coming up with interesting fills but play the hell out of some killer Rush, especially Moving Picture. Good Day Eh. Also I’ve almost died 4 times from alcohol withdrawal symptoms and seizures. Also I say a picture on a marijuana Facebook page which I’m a fan of, the pic said too much booze and you wind up here (pic of ambulance sirens blasting) Too much weed and you wind up here (pic of man standing in front of open refrigerator). Go figure LOL. God bless you bro:-)

  5. Damn billy Bob, I’m 54 yes old. I work . Been married to the same woman for 27 yrs .put my daughter thru college. My home and property are paid for. All my vehicles are paid for. The fridge is full. I am a u.s.army vet. I smoke pot. I like pot. God made it. I am not a dope head. Maby you should burn one and you wouldn’t be such an a–hole.

    • Im 62 years old, been married 20 years, home & 4 automobiles paid for, fridge is full of food and plenty of munchies. No criminal record. and I`m with you sweeter. They should burn one and chill out. Get the tax money from it and be happy “WE ARE”

  6. Im not for pot. Im not against pot. I don’t smoke it. I don’t even smoke cigarettes. I don’t care if everyone smokes pot but me. But I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised it that were true. 100 years from now, no one will know the difference anyway. & By then the world will be one big naked, orgy, drug ravaged free for all. Glad I wont be alive to see it. I wish I had born back at the turn of the century where I wouldn’t have to see how sad today’s world is.

    • If you were born at the turn of the century (I assume you mean 1899-1900 not 1999-2000 cause then you’d be 14 and worse off) Marijuana would have been legal. Opium was also legal and used in laudnum as medicine for common ailments. My point here is not that these should be legal again but that any sort of naked, orgy future scenario will not be because of marijuana or even opium, if you were looking for something to blame on where this country is going I’d pick the sex crazed media where sex appeal is used to sell almost everything. I don’t think I can turn on the T.V for more than 10 minutes without seeing someone in their underwear. Also some newer drugs such as ecstasy definitely due more to turn a rave into an orgy than marijuana ever did. I’ve talked to narcotics officers who tell me they would rather deal with someone high on marijuana than anything else including alcohol. By some accounts George Washington enjoyed indulgence in marijuana from time to time, and why wouldn’t he, its easier to produce than alcohol and does not impede functioning nearly as much, especially back then when there was no super potent marijuana. My point is that people have been smoking marijuana for thousands of years and it isn’t what is causing our country to fall apart. My biggest concern right now is that the federal government seems to be using the bill of rights as toilet paper.

    • The turn of the century was just 14 years ago! If you’re under 14, your mama should be watching the sites you visit!

  7. Billabong, Your Stupid. But Not As Stupid As I. For I Hath Smoked A Legal Fatty Before Reading These Comments, OnlyTo Learn I Was Duped By This False Journal

  8. It would be nice though. I love marijuana and all it’s uses; practical as well as recreational and medical (mainly recreational) ;) also for the benefits it could generate for our dwindling economy. .. I’m a proud pot head and always will be. . Government-Get off our nut sacks. .. And Billy Bob-you’re a disgrace. Smoke a blunt about it

  9. Could write SO MANY things about Southerner’s “attractiveness” “warm welcome wagons” and “exemplary animal treatment”. I never want to leave.

  10. Marijuana isn’t a drug, it’s a natural herb that grows from the ground. It doesn’t even hurt the human body, if you actually do some “RESEARCH” you could read that marijuana has anti cancer molecules and has been proven to cure it along with other diseases.

  11. This billybob gotta be some kinda dumb i mean come on now ppl that smoke weed they dont get out here have a bad car wreak and kill somebody.Pot is an herb.Its grown.Beer is made beer is not an herb.Im not a drinker and im not a smoker but geez it dont take a rocket scientist to figure out mary jane is not that bad.In my book its not even a drub its an herb..Geezzzzzz BILLYBOB…..

    • Beer is a combination of grain, water and yeast, and some hopps generally which is actually somehow related to marijuana and tends to mellow drunks out a bit. It is definitely a bit more of a process to produce, the question is when does something change from being natural to processed. Opium is natural it comes from poppies, heroine is refined opium (I would definitely consider this processed/made). I think when it comes to the alcohol family I tend to consider beer and wine natural, and liquor processed/made. for instance one can make wine with natural yeast essentially just letting grape or berry juice ferment just from the yeast in the air without adding any to the mix, hard cider can be made similarly. Now when I brew my own cider I do use champagne yeast but its essentially just apple juice and yeast that you let sit for awhile. Interesting historical fact is that a lot of apple orchards were cut down by prohibitionists during alcohol prohibition, so sad as some of those old time cider varieties were lost forever. I’m a big cider fan and would hate to see something like this happen again (I can’t see the U.S ever going back into prohibition though), but I think we all should take a lesson from history, when the government prohibits something people still get it anyways, this generates crime and the prohibited item is no longer taxed or regulated. crime results in police interaction which cost the government money, paying more police officers needed to make the arrest, paying the court officials for the trial and paying for the criminals to be incarcerated. Private prisons are big business in the U.S, its a perfect way for politicians or anyone who invests in these private prison companies to take tax payers dollars to “help keep us safe.” I’m all for locking up murderers and rapists but I’m not too worried about the stoner down the street. Also I don’t think anyone should be making a profit off of keeping anyone locked up, that just gives too much incentive for poor living conditions.

  12. I think he’s very rude talking about the northerners like that he should be ashamed of himself, in fact he owes us an apology, I’m from Ga but now live in Ohio .he was soo disrespectfull,

  13. I love this story…I think the Gov missed the opportunity to declare the bitcoin the Georgia state currency, and to make political promises to do things to make up for the last storm’s issues that have already been done, e.g., “because of these storms, I promise to no longer allow tolls on the 400, we will install a “Lexus lane” on 85, and to sell Southern Poly to the Chinese instead of to Kennesaw State”…oops, I guess that last one hasn’t already been done, but maybe it should be… :-p

    Josharoonie

  14. haha this is funny! So in the same spirit, I have a question… Does the Governor have a solution to the obvious soon-to-be-shortage of chips, snacks, pizza, etc? And of course the very slow traffic jam at all the Convenient Marts, 7-11s, etc.

  15. I do understand the Southerners’ views on hemp. The main reason hemp was banned, was the cotton industry lobbied against it. Hemp cloth can be produced at a competitive cost to cotton. No cotton, no southern big money. So the little man losses, again. Its obvious that when big money can profit, and the states get their tax cash, then it will become legal. FOLLOW THE MONEY.

  16. Why not try to be NICE for a change with a positive comment! That is the problem with everyone in OUR lovely country. If MJ was legal that would be fabulous, if not just be a good master of hiding it. No need to call names, say mean things, just smile nod move on….. Peace n Love Folks… Yes I might be a hillbilly, a flat lander, a northerner, a foreigner who knows. I will tell ya I am a child of God!

  17. Even something as harmless as this still provokes internet debate. Enjoyment no longer exists. P3nis

  18. I’m sure those Georgian pot partakers appreciate the governor’s leniency due to this winter weather, but wadr it makes you appear more petty and less conservative with the personal commentary. We all know only mid-westerners cook their dogs

  19. How do we know that Billy Bob took this serious. Hell I’m a yankee in Ohio…a flatland hillbilly they used to call us. He’s absolutely right about the way this country is heading. Marlboro tobacco is already getting ready to package a marijuana cigarette in Washington and Colorado and they plan on buying the reefer from Mexico. Hell I thought that was the reason they were gonna legalize it was that the legalization would stop American money from going down to Mexico. They lied! Now more American money will go down there. Lock down the borders and bring back America the way it was meant to be before we all burn in hell with the liberals ruining this country for not resisting them. The hell with Hollywood and the glorification of their pervert queen Ellen Degenerant. She’s leading your daughters and grand daughters to hell. I’m a 12th generation American ashamed the way the north has started the country on this path. More power to ya Billy Bob!

  20. This governor is an idiot if this story is true. He has the nerve to criticize northerners? Helloooooo!

  21. I love how anti marijuana people easily dismiss smokers as unintelligent zombies. By your doing this you’re blatantly showing everyone you’re the idiot in the scenario. You obviously have no clue about marijuana in any aspect. I’ve smoked for over 10 years, daily, and I own a home, a vehicle, have a family and even high grades all through college. A friend of mine smoked all through nursing school, and still does. He’s one of the top paid nurses in his city.

    • Just because someone smokes don’t mean they will do it at work either. I can’t think of anyone who drinks who’s said to me. ” I think I’m gonna show up to work drunk today!”. There are stupid people out there that don’t know how to act, regardless of substance involvement.

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