Employees Fight to Win Coveted Family-Avoiding Holiday Work Shifts

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I'll do anything, just put me on the clock.

ATLANTA–Retail employees, mechanics, and executives alike are competing against one another for coveted holiday work slots, hoping to use work as a reason to avoid their families on Thanksgiving. Supervisors and HR managers say they only have so many slots to fill, so they’re having to resort to coin flipping and other selection methods.

“I thought there was going to be a barista fist fight,” said Marjorie Kaff-Nayted, coffee shop owner. “I mentioned closing the shop on Thanksgiving and everyone flipped. Summer started crying. Cody’s little mustache turned down like his dog died.”

It’s the same story at Shale Sales, rock construction material plant. “On any other day of the year no one wants to come to work,” said Dale McHale, foreman at Shale Sales. “People are late, they call out sick. But Thanksgiving and Christmas suddenly everyone takes pride in their job.”

“I don’t know what I’ll do if Cody gets my shift pulling shots on Thanksgiving,” said Summer Korstag, barista. “Another year of telling my extended family members I’m not married and I still make coffee? I’d rather volunteer at a soup kitchen or something.”