ATLANTA, GA–Local base-related sports squad the Atlanta Braves today announced that they accidentally traded their entire stock of ball striking bats for a shipment of delicious French bread. Though the bread is more or less bat shaped, the trade represents a curious move for a team heading into a new season.
Braves director of operations Carver Hydrates said you have to put the trade into perspective. “Sure, it’s tough to hit a home run with a piece of bread,” he said. “But have you tried these bats with some olive oil and spices? Like the Italians do in their authentic restaurants Carraba’s and Olive Garden? Amazing.”
Legendary player Hunter Burps posted a series of tweets about the trade, urging fans to consider the bigger picture. “Fans need to keep in mind that if they don’t go watch the team lose, Atlanta, er… sorry, I mean Kennesaw, will lose the team. And hey, some of the bread might fly into the stands, so, you know, free bread.”