Bono Attempts Purchase of Swiss Handbag, is Told He Doesn’t Wear Sunglasses Often Enough

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Sorry buddy, maybe if you wore sunglasses a little more often. PHOTO: Ricardo Stuckart

ZURICH–U2 frontman and pupil protection aficionado Bono visited Zurich this week, where he asked a shop clerk if he might examine one of their finest handbags. To the singer’s surprise, the shop clerk informed him that he simply did not wear sunglasses often enough to meet the shop’s standards. The clerk offered to show Bono some of the smaller handbags in the store, but refused a second and third time to display the expensive bag.

“You run into this kind of thing sometimes,” said Bono. “Shop clerks sometimes refuse to sell things for the dumbest reasons. I know in my heart that I wear sunglasses as much as a human being possibly could.”

Sources close to Bono say that the Swiss tourism office has issued an apology, and that if the shop clerk should ever find himself starving to death in a developing nation Bono will refuse him aid.