Virtual Facebook Goggles Will Spray Baby Photos, Wacked-Out Politics Directly Into your Eyeballs

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Oh yes, I can see how crazy you and your baby are in here.

SKYNET–Facebook has announced that it will use technology gained from the purchase of technology company Oculus VR to produce goggles that will spray the crazy extremist politics of acquaintances — as well as copious photos of progeny of same — directly into the eyeballs of the wearer.

The move comes as a shock to backers of Oculus VR, who hoped to see the virtual reality technology used for high quality gaming applications, but Facebook says they’ll just have to content themselves with whatever the weird guy from work whom they only friended because he’s a coworker feels like ranting about.

“If you have any dissenting opinions about this purchase,” said Luke Kyootisofbarg, Facebook spokesman, “you can pay $30 to boost your status update so someone will see it on Facebook.”

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