US Government to Dress Up for Halloween as a Government

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Hey, look at us! We have thoughts and beliefs. Really! We're not just frontline pawns owned by corporations. PHOTO: Ron Cogswell

WASHINGTON, DC–The United States government has announced that the partial government shutdown will end for now, giving it just enough time to dress itself up as a working government for the coming Halloween holiday. The October 31st holiday falls on a Thursday this year and is two weeks away, but many high ranking public officials say the government has dress up parties scheduled as soon as this weekend.

“This is great news for us,” said press secretary Jeb Foster. “We thought we were going to have to dress up as the cast of Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ again, with John Boehner as MJ. This way we just wear our work clothes and fake it like any other day.”

“Besides, Boehner’s moonwalk is crap,” added Foster.

The U.S. Government will knock on doors of corporations as well as other governments, holding orange buckets shaped like plastic pumpkins out to receive millions of dollars.

“Sometimes really crappy places give you a bundle of ones with an orange and black wrapper,” said Foster. “But lots of times we get good stuff.”

Rep. John Boehner’s (R) 8th District of Ohio office could not be reached for comment on his moonwalking abilities.

The US Government is expected to have removed its “Functioning Government” costume by the first quarter of 2014, revealing itself once again as a shameful broken sham with no hope in sight.