Uber Announces UberXXX Exotic Dancer Driven Cars

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Where are we heading? Because I go downtown. Just saying. PHOTO: Song_sing

ATLANTA–Users of popular car service Uber can now elect to be driven to their destination by exotic dancers. The company is enjoying success of its chauffeur driven service as well as its amateur driven service UberX, which was introduced to compete with other amateur driven services like Lyft and Sidecar.

“We were brainstorming ways to stand out in the market,” said Max Frei, Uber Director of Development, “And it just hit us. If people will pay anyone to drive them around, why not exotic dancers?”

Frei says the idea makes sense on a lot of levels. Exotic dancers are often working on weekend evenings, but have down time during daytime and on weekdays when car services are more in demand.

UberXXX passengers will be encouraged to sit in the front seat for a better view of their driver, but extra mirrors will be installed so that back seat passengers can see as well. Stripping while driving will be frowned upon, so passengers may be inclined to choose routes with stop lights rather than highways.

“We’re sure that with the gouged and metal plate covered surfaces of Atlanta streets, our drivers will be jiggling around plenty,” said Frei.

The dancers will use their own cars, just like with the UberX service, but Uber says it will vet drivers and their vehicles before allowing them to accept passengers.

“We won’t allow just any gross skank with a busted Cressida to hit the streets,” said Frei. “This is a classy service.”

2 COMMENTS

  1. Gee, I’m not interested in having an exotic dancer, such as illustrated, drive me anywhere. Call me old-fashioned or whatever. I admit I’m somewhat of a traditionalist in that I like a sturdy, good looking fella in a dark suit who comes when he’s called, opens the car door for me, asks where I want to go and whether there is anything else he can do for me. Plain and simple. Yet he’s getting harder to find these days.
    Until UberXXX offers a diverse selection of exotic and user-friendly dancer/drivers, I’ll stick with Plan A and when UberXXX offers its IPO, count me out.

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