CAPITOL–Zap Sparkle, who claims to be a time traveler from the year 3092, held a press conference today on the steps of the capitol building to celebrate Georgia’s approval of same sex marriage in his present year of 3092. Some present Georgia officials have verbally supported same sex unions, but much of the state is firmly against happiness of any kind other than what can be derived from shitty light beer.
Sparkle tearfully acknowledged that in his time Georgia was not only the last US state to recognize all of its citizens as human beings capable of love, but the last place on planet Earth.
“Hell, even Georgia the country was ahead of us,” stated Mr. Sparkle, “And they’re kinda Russian, I think.”
Sparkle then asked for questions, but refused to answer whether flying cars had yet been developed in his present time 1079 years in the future.