Eye Surgeon Wearily Insists Lasers Don’t Go PEW PEW PEW

If you've had LASIK surgery and still wear frames without glasses in them for fashion reasons, punch yourself. Hard. In the face. PHOTO: Brien Aho, USN

ROSWELL–Surgeon I. Zappir, MD, wearily insisted for probably the millionth time at a cocktail party last Friday that lasers he uses for LASIK surgery do not make a “pew! pew! pew!” noise. The surgeon, father of two and LASIK specialist at Crazy Al’s Discount Cornea Barn, indicated that this happens all the time. “It’s kind [...]