CAPITOL–Sources close to Mayor Kasim Reed’s office report that he has sold the Georgia World Congress Center, and 17 acres of surrrouding real estate on popular online classifieds website Craigslist. The decision was made without input or approval from Georgia governor Nathan Deal, nor any members of Congress.
The real estate in question was reportedly traded on the website, craigslist.org for a “2003 SeaDoo GTX 4-TEC”, which according to Mayor Reed is “like-new, fast as shit, awesome, and has bad-ass custom decals.” He continues to say that, “the fact that it came with an awesome trailer is like, come on man, really? Done deal.”
Atlantans seem to be in overwhelming approval of the decision. Says Inman Park resident and mechanic Harold Bennett, “I mean come on, that area was a shithole. I think it’s great that we got a jetski out of the deal. And for a 2003, it looks great. The 4-TEC has a good engine.”
Mayor Kasim Reed and his office have released a request for any spare life vests Atlanta citizens might have hanging around in their garages.
“Help your mayor out here, guys,” he implored via press conference on Monday morning. “I stuck my neck out to get this badass machine, I don’t want to get nickel and dimed on little stuff like life vests.”
The mayor’s office also confirmed that it wouldn’t mind if the city could maybe kick a few bucks for “gas and some coldies,” but questions about when and where city officials could try the SeaDoo out for themselves were not answered as of press time.