Atlanta's Serious News Hole
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WASHINGTON D.C.—As a result of the government failing to work together to reach a compromise that would lower the nation’s debt, hundreds of thousands of overpaid teachers will finally be put in their place. Some could even lose their cushy jobs altogether thanks to the legislative branch’s outright refusal to work together. “It’s really not [...]
ATLANTA — Billionaire media mogul and former beloved Atlanta Braves owner Ted Turner has confirmed that he has indeed purchased all possible number combinations for the upcoming record-breaking $500 million Mega Millions drawing on Friday, just to be a dick. Mr. Turner spoke to the Banana via telephone from atop a buffalo somewhere in Montana. [...]
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