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OPINION: We May Be a Tiny Chicken Store, but We Are Just as Bigoted

July 26, 2012 Leave a Comment
You don't have to be a chicken magnate to hate the gays. PHOTO: Mike Delgaudio, Flickr

My name is Ernest P. Pigwiller, and dangit, I am sick and tired of Chick-Fil-A getting all the attention for hating the gays. Hell, we’ve hated the gays all our lives. You don’t see anyone sticking a camera in our faces or staging demonstrations at our restaurants. God, what I wouldn’t give for a little [...]

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Jesus Returns, Tells Chick-fil-A to Open on Sundays Already

March 5, 2012 2 Comments
The site of our Savior's delicious return. PHOTO: hectorir, Flickr

HAPEVILLE — Jesus Christ, the Messiah, Prince of Peace, and Son of Almighty God, returned to Earth Sunday surrounded by trumpeting angels on a dazzling white cloud which hovered over the original Chick-fil-A Dwarf House on the south side of Atlanta. Speaking in a booming, ethereal voice, Jesus addressed the throng of onlookers and reporters [...]

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