Atlanta's Serious News Hole
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ATLANTA, GA – A mixed crowd of approximately 30 patrons at “Fat Tony’s Rhythm & Q’s” was severely bummed out Thursday night after a music performance by a Caucasian Fort Lauderdale “Blues” band, Jimmy T and the Parrotheads. The concert, part of the restaurant’s ongoing “Thursday Night BBQ & Blues” promotion, started promptly at 7:00 [...]
ATLANTA–Tickets for the popular Atlanta music festival Music Midtown now feature lowered online “convenience fees,” costing only a single severed finger. Concert promoters have hinted that future fees may go back up to a whole hand or even most of a limb, so interested citizens should shut up and pay. The single-finger figure is for [...]
DALTON — Pop star Katy Perry has announced the hire of a north Georgia company to manage the Herculean task of matching carpeting to her ever-changing drapes. Shaw Industries, the worldwide flooring conglomerate based in Dalton, confirmed the move to the Banana today. “We’re pleased to finally acknowledge our partnership with Katy,” enthused Shaw spokesman [...]
THE GOAT FARM — Local Atlanta musicians have long been tireless supporters of themselves. Decrying the lack of a so-called Atlanta “scene” in Facebook posts and tweets, they shame fans of national acts as lacking true interest in local culture. Some brave musicians, however, are speaking out against this movement. One local musician, calling himself [...]
BUCKHEAD — Multi-platinum recording artist and part-time Atlantan Sir Elton John held a bizarre press conference today in the parlor of his Buckhead high-rise condominium to announce his latest musical venture. “Three John Night” is the working name for the band currently headed by Sir Elton, with Grammy-winning singer and “Grease” star Olivia Newton-John also [...]
ATLANTA — With the 54th annual awards program set to air in a few weeks on February 12, Atlantans are hurriedly finalizing their Grammy-watching plans. But as some review the list of nominees and discuss their predictions, one question among a select group hangs in the air: “Who the hell is Bon Iver?” These tasteless [...]
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