White Blues Band Gives Crowd The Blues

Ah one and a two and a one two fart oops. PHOTO: Ralph Daily

ATLANTA, GA – A mixed crowd of approximately 30 patrons at “Fat Tony’s Rhythm & Q’s” was severely bummed out Thursday night after a music performance by a Caucasian Fort Lauderdale “Blues” band, Jimmy T and the Parrotheads. The concert, part of the restaurant’s ongoing “Thursday Night BBQ & Blues” promotion, started promptly at 7:00 [...]

Music Midtown Convenience Fee Lowered to One Severed Finger

What could be more convenient than standing around in a parking lot? PHOTO: Andrew Guyton

ATLANTA–Tickets for the popular Atlanta music festival Music Midtown now feature lowered online “convenience fees,” costing only a single severed finger. Concert promoters have hinted that future fees may go back up to a whole hand or even most of a limb, so interested citizens should shut up and pay. The single-finger figure is for [...]

Katy Perry Taps Georgia Firm to Match Carpeting with Drapes

Everyone's interested in Katy Perry's carpet. PHOTO: Philip Nelson

DALTON — Pop star Katy Perry has announced the hire of a north Georgia company to manage the Herculean task of matching carpeting to her ever-changing drapes. Shaw Industries, the worldwide flooring conglomerate based in Dalton, confirmed the move to the Banana today. “We’re pleased to finally acknowledge our partnership with Katy,” enthused Shaw spokesman [...]

Local Bands Urge Atlanta To Support U2, Nickelback

Musical act U2 much, much better than Atlanta local bands PHOTO: Zachary Gillman

THE GOAT FARM — Local Atlanta musicians have long been tireless supporters of themselves. Decrying the lack of a so-called Atlanta “scene” in Facebook posts and tweets, they shame fans of national acts as lacking true interest in local culture. Some brave musicians, however, are speaking out against this movement. One local musician, calling himself [...]

Elton John Forms All-John Supergroup

Sir Elton John is part-time Atlantan and full-time fabulous. PHOTO: David Shankbone

BUCKHEAD — Multi-platinum recording artist and part-time Atlantan Sir Elton John held a bizarre press conference today in the parlor of his Buckhead high-rise condominium to announce his latest musical venture.  “Three John Night” is the working name for the band currently headed by Sir Elton, with Grammy-winning singer and “Grease” star Olivia Newton-John also [...]

Who The Hell Is Bon Iver, Wonder Tasteless Atlantans

PHOTO: Moses Namkung, Flickr

ATLANTA — With the 54th annual awards program set to air in a few weeks on February 12, Atlantans are hurriedly finalizing their Grammy-watching plans. But as some review the list of nominees and discuss their predictions, one question among a select group hangs in the air: “Who the hell is Bon Iver?” These tasteless [...]