Online Georgia Lottery Lets You Throw Money Away Anywhere

This is money. You will not win it in a Georgia lottery. Ever. PHOTO: Dustin Moore

ATLANTA — The Georgia lottery’s online presence now allows citizens to figuratively throw their money away from any location with an internet connection. The expanded functionality promises to expand the lottery’s reach to include the financially daft who lack the time to travel to a physical lottery location. “The internet is a wonderful thing, in […]

Ted Turner Buys All Possible Mega Millions Combinations Just to Be a Dick

Ted Turner has 35 million of these, and one's a winner.  PHOTO: Robert S. Donovan, Flickr

ATLANTA — Billionaire media mogul and former beloved Atlanta Braves owner Ted Turner has confirmed that he has indeed purchased all possible number combinations for the upcoming record-breaking $500 million Mega Millions drawing on Friday, just to be a dick. Mr. Turner spoke to the Banana via telephone from atop a buffalo somewhere in Montana. […]