Atlanta's Serious News Hole
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ATLANTA–In the wake of the Muppets severing all ties with fast food chain Chick-Fil-A, conservative groups across America have banded together to produce their own children’s puppet group, the Reagles. “This is a movement that has been brewing for a long time,” said Vernon Wormer, head of Conservatives On Creative Kids Shows. “The Muppets announcement [...]
DOUGLASVILLE–Farley R. Lijous, unemployed paint agitator and father of two, discovered to his surprise Sunday that he had mistakenly attended church the week after Easter. Lijous disclosed to reporters that while he considers himself a religious man, he normally only attends church for what he called “the Big Four.” Those are: Christmas, Easter, weddings and [...]
NEW YORK CITY–With the news that the New York Jets have added former Broncos quarterback and known annoyingly public Christian Tim Tebow, New York Knicks guard and annoyingly public Christian Jeremy Lin has declared a holy war. “This town isn’t big enough for two people who love Jesus as much and as publicly as I [...]
HAPEVILLE — Jesus Christ, the Messiah, Prince of Peace, and Son of Almighty God, returned to Earth Sunday surrounded by trumpeting angels on a dazzling white cloud which hovered over the original Chick-fil-A Dwarf House on the south side of Atlanta. Speaking in a booming, ethereal voice, Jesus addressed the throng of onlookers and reporters [...]
EDGEWOOD — A family of Southern Baptists from Bugscuffle, Tennessee was left befuddled and confused after trying to attend Sister Louisa’s Church of the Living Room and Ping-Pong Emporium Sunday evening. Ezekiel “Zeke” Goodbottom, traveling with his wife Ruth, and his children Matthew, Mark, Luke, and Debbie, had driven to Atlanta for the weekend to [...]
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