Walmart to Construct Beltline of Walmarts

Walmart officials discussing the 22-mile ring of Walmarts to encircle Atlanta PHOTO: Walmart Stores, flickr

ATLANTA–Retail behemoth and world’s largest seller of uncomfortable underwear Walmart announced plans today to build a 22-mile ring shaped store encircling Atlanta. The Walmart plan, which will begin construction immediately, will replace the transportation-and-happiness-based former Beltline with a gigantic ring-shaped retail store. The plan’s documents promise thousands shopping carts, as well as creepy abandoned parking [...]

City Officials Can’t Wait To Close Ponce de Leon

Ponce de Leon closure represents the event of the year for traffic officials. PHOTO: MidtownPatch

PONCE DE LEON–City traffic officials are preparing to close a section of Ponce de Leon this Friday night, March 23rd, as part of ongoing Beltline work. Calling it “the fucking party of the year,” one internal memo described workers as “completely stoked.” “Bro, that memo is completely right. It’s pretty much going to blow all [...]