Night Before New Diet Celebrated With 15,000 Calorie Binge

This diet is going to work perfectly as soon as I stop drinking pureed donuts. PHOTO: Gpics

TUCKER–Local sheet metal agitator Gary Field, 35, has announced a new diet, set to start bright and early on Monday morning. Stressed about the reduced calories, Field ate nearly four times what he’d normally have consumed on the Sunday evening before, totaling over 15,000 calories. “I need to drop about twenty-five pounds, I’d say,” confided [...]