Sign Language Faker Accidentally Wrote Greatest Poem Ever

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Monkey. Banana. Raffle. Downhill skiing.

JOHANNESBURG–Fake sign language interpreter Thamsanqa Jantjie, 34, angered the world’s hearing impaired at the Nelson Mandela memorial service when he “translated” the speech of prominent world leaders into unintelligible gibberish. Though Mr. Jantjie now claims to suffer from schizophrenia, a transcript of his signs has now surfaced in the modern poetry community where some are now calling it the greatest poem ever written.

Lee Vzofgrass, PdD and director of the Reimann-Wurtz Poetry Society, announced this morning that the poem resulting from Jantjie’s seemingly random gestures, titled “Monkey Banana Raffle,” is “sublime in its sublety,” which might or might not mean he likes it.

“All one has to do is read the first quatrain of Monkey Banana Raffle to know that it is a singular masterpiece,” said Vzofgrass.

The text of the quatrain is as follows:

Monkey banana raffle,
Quartz what what pickle,
Downhill skiing oh preserve candlestick,
Supper starboard anus volume.

The sign language faker is being sought by Vzofgrass and the Reimann-Wurtz Society, among other interested parties, to produce more works of poetry, but some readers have called the poem “gibberish” and “bullshit.”

“Of course it’s gibberish,” said Dr. Vzofgrass. “it’s poetry.”