Typewritten Professional Insults by U.S. Mail

Monkey-typingAre you or a friend getting a bit too big for your britches? Do you or they occasionally go whole days thinking you’re a decent person? Well allow our team of professional comedy writers to take you or that person down a peg, you daft prick.

For the introductory price of just $9.99, you will receive, via the U.S. Mail, a typewritten letter letting you know just how low you really are, suitable for framing.

When was the last time you got a hand-typed letter in the actual U.S. Mail? Probably never, because no one likes you.

That was just a tantalizing taste of our insulting ability, but think how cool it would be to get a piece of mail that isn’t a bill or coupons. Maybe you can even have someone read it to you, you dim oaf.

Currently, this offer is available to insultees in the contiguous United States only, but if you are desperate to be insulted by our top-notch writers overseas, just get in touch ([email protected]) and we’ll work something out.

DISCLAIMERS:
1. You’re a shit.
2. Typewritten mistakes, cross-outs possible (typing is hard).
3. No anonymous insults (we include your name).

Order Your Insults Now, You Butter-Necked Chow Hound

Normally $15.00, offered here for just
$9.99 + $1.00 s/h

[contact-form-7 id=”2766″ title=”Professional Insult”]

 

Completed Insults