SEC Football Fan Enjoys Loss to Rival Team, Politely Says Goodnight to All, Drives Home, Sleeps Soundly

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Shall we play a game of foot the ball?

ATLANTA–College football fan Jeff Beaks, a lifelong Alabama football fan, enjoyed a thrilling game against arch rival team Auburn this weekend, then politely said goodnight to assembled friends and fellow sports fans of both teams, drove himself to his home, brushed his teeth, and got into bed where he slept soundly.

Beaks was amazed to overhear coworkers acerbic discussions about the game on Monday morning.

“I can’t believe they are still talking about it,” said Beaks. “I mean, I enjoyed it and all, but it’s just a game college kids play.”

Beaks, a public defender, revealed that the most important things in his life are his relationships with his family, his friends, and the work to which he’d devoted his adult life.

“I’m just glad we had a good game,” he said. “Sometimes one team is way better than the other and there’s a blowout. Or both offenses suck and the defenses are great so there’s no score at all. I’ll still watch those games of course, but, win or lose, I prefer a great contest.”

Beaks then resumed applying his efforts to the normal challenges of his life, assisted by a loving family and trusted network of colleagues and friends.