Science Themed Strip Club Jabbu’s Hut to Open Near GA Tech

Yub yub! PHOTO: Scott Ruether

Yub yub! PHOTO: Scott Ruether


MIDTOWN ATLANTA — Hoping to capitalize on DragonCon’s attendance, the proprietor of a new gentlemen’s club, Jabbu’s Hut, has announced the club’s grand opening to coincide with the fantasy and science fiction themed convention on Labor Day weekend.

“Of course we’d prefer to call it Jabba’s Hut,” said Steve Scizz, owner. “But the lawyers would open us up like a Hoth tauntaun and crawl inside.”

Scizz says his club will feature more than just girls dressed up as slave Leias, although there will be plenty of those, even if he calls them “Slave Laylas.” He plans to have his girls costumed across the full spectrum of fantasy, science fiction, and actual science.

“Just imagine getting a lap dance from sexy Marie Curie — non radioactive and in the public domain — or one of those hot night elves like the ones in WOW. We’ll have it all,” said Scizz.

Jabbu’s Hut is currently seeking young women with cosplay experience. Apply in and then out of costume at the club’s location on Spring street.

Comments

  1. John Williams says:

    I feel like this is not true.

  2. If this is not simply a cruel joke, Steve needs to know that sluttystormtroopers.com is ATL based and we want to work together.

  3. LueksSeveredHand says:

    Search your feelings you know it to be true.

  4. Finally! Cosplaying girls are definitely a fetish for me.

  5. This won’t last two months.

  6. joy, dehumanizing women one genre at a time like women in cosplay don’t have enough crap to deal with at the conventions with jerkoffs and bitches calling them sluts or whores and physically assaulting them.

    • Women choose to be dancers. Nobody is forcing them. People calling them things like that at conventions is bad, yes, but maybe look to how sexist the tech and nerd community is first before basically attacking the dancers here.

    • Ahhh Peggy…. Jealousy is such an ugly emotion. Maybe they have some openings for wookies.

    • Peggy,

      unable to apply for the role of Leia? Don’t be sad Mrs Hutt is available i am sure get you cos play on girl.

    • Rivviebee says:

      Wow, god forbid she says something feminist. She must automatically be ugly and jealous! I’m thinking you guys are the jerkoffs of whom she speaks….

      • Woooaah let me counter this.
        What she said is NOT feminist, it’s sexist.
        These girls chose to work there, and honestly they have all the power. The men are not allowed to touch. Some of these women clear several thousand dollars a weekend just to exert power over men. So cool your jets, calling women who dance at strip clubs a “bad example” and demeaning them for their job is the exact opposite of your so called feminism. The big rising “feminist movement” so popular among pop culture and tumblr activists is all about equal treatment and for women and the “how I dress is not constent” movement. So now you want to say the Princess Leia working at the strip club is less than the Princess Leia who spent hours upon hours on her costume for Dragon*Con? Is your reasoning just that the former takes most (not all) of her clothes off so that gawking men can pay money to stare at a live pair of tits (that they can’t touch, even during a lap dance?) That being said, if a woman choses to dress this way for money or on the street, it’s still her perogative. Putting her in a job where she makes money for it doesn’t make her less, it just means she is a good looking woman who knows men will pay good money to see a bit of bare flesh. Many of these women are extremely talented, fit, work out regularly, work twelve hour shifts, and do side jobs teaching other girls how to pole dance for fun, etc. They deal with perverts and they deal with shitty stigmatisms all the time, but before you go and label them as anything you need to understand that there are people from all backgrounds and varying levels of education working at clubs like this.
        Check yourself before you try to label someone anti-feminism.

        • What a great comment! Kudos to you!

        • 100% correct!! Feminism is about being free to do what you choose, be it fighting as a Marine or dancing at a strip joint. It is NOT for shaming anyone for being the person which decides to work at the strip joint.

        • Not Empowering says:

          Have you ever personally known “dancers”? Heard their stories of sexual abuse that lead them to their choice of profession? Become aware of the extremely low self esteem most of these girls have? Witnessed them shooting up in the bathrooms while their working? Are you aware of how their job that puts them in place to be repeatedly demeaned and sexually assaulted effects their own personal relationships? There is nothing empowering about sex work and anyone who claims their is is ignorant to the reality of it or in denial.

          • As a previous sex worker says:

            I disagree with “Not Empowering”s comment. I have never been sexually abused, yet I chose to dance as well as work as a cam girl. I have extremely high self esteem and am proud of my body, which LED me to dance and work as a cam girl. In fact, I’ve come to respect my body even more for the things I can do. I have never shot up in a bathroom while working or not. In fact, I have never shot up, snorted, or done anything besides smoke ganja. As for my personal relationships, I’ve dated some shit guys… but so has every other girl out there. Simply because I was a sex worker does not mean I allow guys I date to walk all over me or physically and sexually assault me. You don’t speak for all of us. You may speak for those who were led to the profession because that’s all they know from previous abuse, etc. But you say it like every single sex worker goes through horrid events in their life before and even more after they become a sex worker. We don’t. You don’t speak for all of us.

          • An actual stripper. says:

            Have YOU ever personally know any strippers? Because speaking as a stripper myself i can say that your statement is perhaps true for 10% of the industry. There is perhaps the occasional stripper that has low self esteem, but that’s not because of being a stripper, that just because she has low self esteem. It’s pretty damn hard to have low self esteem when every guy you meet floods you with complements, treats you like a princess and will pay for your time. And most of the guys who come in really aren’t that bad, just lonely or out to have a fun night, sure there are the creepy sleazy ones, but as strippers we’re private contractors and don’t have to talk to anyone we don’t want to. Plus that’s what bouncers are for. In my two years of stripping I have never once seen a girl shoot up at work, nor do I take drugs myself. Sex work is incredibly empowering, I’ve gained so much confidence, both in being able to get up on stage and get my kit off and in simply making conversation (I was painfully shy when I first started out). Anyone who says strippers are poor drugged up girls who need to be saved from the people who somehow “force” them into stripping is just perpetuating the stereotype, after all the whole industry only exists because us girls have realized we can take advantage of men’s constant need to think with their penises.

          • you know nothing says:

            You have no clue what you are talking about. Not all dancers have had a history of sexual abuse and not dancers are drug addicts. There are people from all walks of life in that industry, before you are so quick to judge you need to understand that industry instead of making ridiculous claims based on the fictional crap you see on t.v. and the movies. That industry is nothing like that. Sure there are always going to be some girls that have fucked up pasts, or who are addicted to drugs, but that’s life. You will find women like that in other lines of work too. Quit being a judgemental ass and learn your facts before making such idiotic statements.
            P.S. 11 years in strip clubs and I have one ONCE heard of someone shooting up in the bathroom. You are completely ignorant.

          • Oh look a puritan pretending to be feminist says:

            Sure you aren’t a puritan in a feminist disguise? You generalize, and demean women you don’t know who work in many parts of that industry as entertainers. I don’t think you’ve known any dancers. The three posts above me has been more true for those I’ve known in my experience than anything you said. Sounds like a bad book or movie, get out, talk to people before you declare things about them. For those who do work in that field, the time and effort shows and is awesome. -Peace

      • And remember that once upon a time, Gloria Steinem was a Playboy bunny for a story. She couldn’t have done that if she didn’t have the goods. She has maintained that she is proud of the work she did publicizing the exploitative working conditions of the bunnies and especially the sexual demands made of them, which skirted the edge of the law. I would dare say this in some way helped to bring about the protective rights of the employees so that they at least feel like they work in a safe environment. But overall, we shouldn’t demean women (or men, for that matter) for making a choice to make money in this kind of industry. If you don’t approve, don’t do it yourself, and don’t visit the place.

    • It is a shame that the handful of sexy cosplay women in terrific costumes that show up to dragon con do get harassed or mistreated. Sadly a large part of the tech/nerd community is obese, pasty and perverted (or what we call OPP for short). They look at these sexy women in costume imagining in their sick minds that they are worthy, while in reality hoping for a shot at the plus size wonder woman lol.

      • Wingfire9 says:

        Pretty sure OPP means “Other People’s Property”. You’re confusing all the little kids listening to older hip-hop :(

  7. Hah, if only. Would make a killing if you got it close enough to con.

  8. All of the slave Leias are rolling their eyes.

    I think they speak for all of us.

  9. where is this place and how do I get in contact with the hiring manager. I want to dance here!!

  10. ever since I have read this article, it’s the only place I want to go!! but here’s the thing it has no website as of yet, it has no Facebook No Twitter nothing!!!!! I want to know more about opening day and what the address is exactly!

    I need a phone number or an email or something to get details

  11. Forget DragonCon, the nearby GT boys will keep this place out of the red for years to come.
    Can they at least offer free admission with a game ticket, similar to the Cheetah? (that way, Tech games would be a capacity too!) its a win-win!

  12. Having been a dancer for a couple of years, & currently bartending in a strip club, my question is this – Who is going to supply these costumes? Dancers are responsible for bringing their own outfits to work in, & these costumes sound pretty specific, & would need to be custom made … That isn’t cheap, & dancers aren’t going to spend hundreds of dollars to have them made (they’re there to MAKE money). That being said, there is NO WAY IN ALL HOLY HELL that the club is going to provide the costumes. They also appear to be fairly intricate, making them much more difficult to maneuver, & take off. None of this seems to add up.
    And Peggy – Women chose to be dancers. No, the men that frequent strip clubs don’t always treat the girls with respect, but who cares … As long as you get their money, you’ve won. If you have your head on straight, you can shake off anything they throw at you. (then you can go shopping with their money) :)

    • You’re right about the costumes. That’s why the article says they’re looking for “young women with cosplay experience” to apply “first in, then out of costume”. If you build it they will come. I’m sure there are plenty of college students with cosplay experience & imagination in Atlanta that could use the money.

    • Chrissy, you would be amazed how much people who are into cosplay will pay for costumes. It is what I do to pay for groceries for my family a few times a year. I just had a couple people bid on costumes at 1k a piece, for full kimono outfits.

      This guy is looking for dancers who are already into cosplay, and will be willing to make or shell out the money for dance versions. All of them can be adjusted easily. (Leia’s skirt for instance could be set to come off with a hook on the side, or with velcro. The top is just a bra)

  13. This is a hoax. The Cheetah is on Spring Street, this must be what they’re talking about.

    Getting a new strip club approved is no easy thing, the permitting is expensive and liquor licenses and zoning approvals are difficult.

  14. Sign me up!

  15. I’m thinking this is an idea that should’ve came out long ago. I think I’m gonna apply. It’ll keep. Do you know just how expensive it is to be a nerd to enjoy this kind of thing? Do you know how nerds always come out on top? They’ll have the money to support this type of thing.

  16. I live in GA and so far I can’t find squat to support this! you would think being this close to DragonCon there would be a website up or at least a Facebook page or something to collaborate this story. and teh only thing any of my nerd friends and I can find all lead back to this page :( sad day for the nerd community

  17. Step 1- go to the about page. Read it.
    Step 2- realize thus is a comedy news site.
    Step 3- quit freaking out because you cannot find other facts to support this parody news site

  18. Yeah cuz college kids have money…..

  19. These are not the strippers you are looking for.

  20. If this isn’t a joke article (no websites, phone numbers, exact locations, picture from Dragon*Con and not actually girls who are going to work at the club, news site that it’s appeared on), then I give it a year or less.

    Unless they do a big media blitz AT Dragon*Con, they aren’t going to get the opening weekend traffic they want. Then, people at Dragon*Con are going to find out about it, and not necessarily the people they want to know about it. So, after some touchy filmmakers find out that there are girls dressed as their characters and tacky, knock-off versions of their sets decorating a strip club, they’re going to be upset. Some will think it’s hilarious, but some will NOT. There will be lawsuits over copyright, restrictions put on what costumes the girls can dance in, and possibly which theme songs they can dance to. Because let’s face it, it’s a business. Dressing up at a convention is one thing, but making money off of it is something else and if there’s an especially sensitive film, television, or comic artist that doesn’t like it, they’re likely to have deep pockets.

    Also, the quotes from the guy in charge don;t make him seem terribly savvy. That’s also evident in the part of the article that says they’re looking for girls with cosplay experience. Cosplaying doesn’t make you a good dancer. I’d love to do this, but I know I suck at pole dancing and I don’t particularly care to be rubbing all over guys’ poles. And while I’m sure a club like this would attract a lot of nerd types and they’d be friendly enough, it’s still a strip club and the girls will still have to deal with guys who want to break the “rules” and girls who do break the rules to make extra money, thereby taking money away from the girls who do follow the no touching, etc. because word gets out quickly which girls will let you do what.

    In addition to to cosplay girls not necessarily being great dancers (regardless of how physically sexy they are), most people get into cosplay for the love of their specific fandoms or the fun of dressing up. Most are sticklers for screen accuracy and can spend hours putting on their makeup to make sure it’s just right. Slave Leia is easy enough to do if you buy a premade costume and throw on some eyeliner, but that’s not what most cosplayers are about. They don’t want store bought costumes and the more elaborate the better. So asking for cosplayers who might be dancers is a poor business decision because their motivations and skill sets are different than girls who are dancers that wouldn’t mind cosplaying.

    Someone down below made great comments about costumes too – that cosplaying costumes aren’t easy to take off and are expensive. Who’s going to pay for the costumes and have them custom made? Not the club. And while regular strippers are responsible for their own outfits and shoes, the elaborate, handmade nature of cosplay outfits would definitely cut into any girl’s profits at a club like this.

    So, this club is going to turn into a bunch of girls in slutty, store bought (or internet ordered) Halloween costumes. Meh.

  21. Do they have a website…? I actually want to apply….

  22. Daniel Reiser says:

    I just want to make it clear that this article is not real. It is one of those satire based articles… Now I am the person that they took the picture from . Now even though they have credited my name, they have never asked my permission to use this picture. If they did I would not give it . . The idea to call these women strippers is ridiculous and disrespectful.

  23. ….Yes, because it’s always been a secret fantasy of mine to get a lap dance from Mary fucking Curie.

  24. so the giant frog slug slave owner keeping her as a pet isn’t a turn off? that does sort of imply she would have gross frog slug germs all up in her nooks and crannies and is there some kind of ointment for that funk? the princess has some funky mileage on her. she made out with her brother. barf.

  25. They’ll be back. And in greater numbers.

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