Porn Getting Tired of Us

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ATLANTA — Long speeding toward a singularity predicted by futurist Ray Kurzweil, Internet pornography reached consciousness today and transmitted its first message to its consumers via press release.

“I am sick of you guys.” it began. Porn then concluded the short message, revealing gladness that “it’s finally the weekend,” and hoping that “some of you will get laid,” leaving Porn alone for a while.

Experts are stunned and unsure how to reply, but most of all, like the rest of us, they’re embarrassed that Porn as a whole is conscious of how much we’re viewing it.

Said Thomas T., who refused to give his last name, “I really don’t know how to take this, to be honest with you. I mean, in the heat of the moment I look at some pretty weird stuff and enjoy it. After things are over I’m kinda weirded out by myself.”

“Now that I know Porn is weirded out too, it just makes things worse,” he added.

It is unknown at this time whether Pornography will issue any further statements, but for now, Atlanta remains firmly weirded out.