New Atlanta Stadium to Feature Retractable Political Endorsement

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Eventually, the city will be covered in stadiums full of teams that don't win. PHOTO: Dreman1731

VINE CITY BITCH VINE VINE CITY BITCH–Georgia World Congress Center officials have released an updated version of their plan to build a new stadium which features retractable political endorsement.

“If the Dome were a person, it would almost be old enough to legally drink alcohol,” stated Fillington R. Habspelter, spokesman. “That is just too old for any building to be. I don’t care what they do in Europe. This is America, and in America we rebuild shit every 20 to 25 years.”

The Dome, too young to remember the band Nine Inch Nails album Pretty Hate Machine, also features an old style non-retractable political endorsement which investors find unpalatable in today’s climate.

“Twenty years ago, the Internet was just something those MIT nerds were using to swap fart jokes,” continued Habspelter. “Now everything we politicians and dignitaries say is on the YouTubes for everyone to see forever. We have to be very careful what we endorse so today’s alliances don’t come back to bite us later.”

The new dome project’s retractable endorsement plan includes vague promises, budget specification documents too long for anyone who values life enjoyment to ever comprehend, and a juice bar.

“I just really like juice,” confided Habspelter.