Minor Crimes to Become Legal in Georgia for Fee

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PHOTO: talkingdc, Flickr

CAPITOL — Georgia lawmakers met today to begin talks about a new bill that could see the Governor’s desk by early next year. The state, having recently banned cell phone use for drivers operating a motor vehicle, would allow residents willing to pay a monthly fee to continue using cell phones while driving.

Herman Winkenter, lawyer and spokesman for the informal group, had this to say in a press release regarding the talks:

The bill we proposed today regards cell phone use, but there is a much bigger issue at stake: we want money in return for allowing our residents to flaunt the law.

Winkenter went on to describe the plan in more detail with reporters via phone.

“It is very time-intensive, not to mention financially draining, for the state to police citizens, and then to maintain the court system to determine their guilt or innocence,” Winkenter said. “The only reason we do it is the money. We figure we can save everyone a lot of time and still get our money by allowing residents to pick their infractions ahead of time.”

Lawmakers, it seems, emboldened by the success of the Peach Pass, are looking into other infractions they could charge for the privelege of breaking.

“Who knows?” mused Winkenter. “Pickpocketing? Public Drunkenness? Manslaughter? The sky’s the limit at this point.”

Winkenter then laughed, and concluded, “Well, manslaughter’s probably a bit much.”