Kennesaw Mosque Deemed Too Close to Ground Zero

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KENNESAW–A local mosque’s application to open its doors for worship in a Kennesaw retail space has been denied by the Kennesaw City Council on the basis that the mosque would be “too close to Ground Zero.” Mosque legal representatives pointed out that the proposed location would be over 850 miles from the Ground Zero site in New York, to which council Chairman Kenneth W. Saugh responded “Ayep. Like we said. Too close.”

The religious group was then given a list of “refinements” they could make to their proposal, after which they could reapply to the council for a permit.

The Atlanta Banana has obtained the list, preprinted with permission in its entirety here:

1. Convert to Christianity (Baptist, obviously)
2. Get some guns

Upon delivery of the list of refinements, Chairman Saugh concluded the meeting by pounding the Colt “Peacemaker” revolver that the Kennesaw City Council is required to use as a gavel. Council members then rose as one from their chairs made of historic guns and filed out of the gun-shaped Council chambers.

[Thanks to @ccurzio for the headline submission]