What’s up, dipshits? Just wanted to let you all know that you might be enjoying Spring weather right now, but your old pal Sol is gonna burn your fleshy Atlanta asses to a crisp in just a few short weeks. Oh man, I cannot wait.
Let me just tell you. My favorite thing is listening to all this global warming and climate change jibber jabber. One degree more or less ain’t shit to me. I’m gonna supernova one day and swallow your whole spot right up anyways. Just try to air condition your way out of that, fuckers!
The house always wins, and I am the ultimate house around these parts. The world absolutely does revolve around me. In fact, all of them do.
Radiating energy is my business, y’all, and business is good, especially when you Earth fools trap and magnify my heat with your dumb atmosphere. Venus does it too and I fucking love it. I wish Mercury and Mars would up their greenhouse game, but one’s too close and the other’s too far away. Oh well. Couple of punks, those guys.
There’s still you, Earth, and specifically you, Atlanta. I’m coming. Get out your sun hats and shit because I am radiating like a motherfucker over here.