Human Movie Bravely Contains Monologue Detailing How Great Humans Are

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PHOTO: Marvel

HOLLYWOOD, CA–A recently-released human blockbuster “moving picture” contained a lengthy speech in which a member of a team of protagonists mused at length on the merits of the human race. The general gist of the speech was that, while flawed, humans are capable of love, which means they shouldn’t be killed.

“It’s just so damn brave of them to tell themselves how great they are all the time,” said Xaxxon P” 2, ruler of the Hurqleburro Nebula. “Our media realistically deals with our flaws and ways we could improve, which is a total bummer.”

Xaxxon said he and his fleet have been considering destroying the Earth for target practice, but have decided to leave it for now. “Like one of your posters with the plucky feline,” he said.