ATLANTA, GA–Acting on the advice of the computer guy at work, Hamish Buttrym, paralegal, added a second digit to his shitty, easily-guessable corporate network password. The password, which is merely the word “awesome” with the number “1” added, itself represents a massive security hole at law firm Blankenship & Barnes where Buttrym is employed.
“I don’t have time to remember a crazy password,” said Buttrym. “Plus, I was running out of space on the post-it note on my monitor where it says my password. So I just added ‘1.’”
But Junior Information Technology Engineer Architect at Blankenship & Barnes, Will Fritz, says Buttrym isn’t helping.
“Adding a digit to a password that shitty is like adding a maraschino cherry to a cat turd,” said Fritz. “Just thinking about it fills me with rage. The deep, black kind of rage that only a late twenties computer gamer forced to work at a corporate law firm can feel.”
Fritz reported the shittiness of Buttrym’s password to Jeb Blankenship, parter at the firm, but the conversation was sidetracked when Blankenship asked if his own password “golfman1” would benefit from a secure extra digit.
The network appears to somehow be working as of press time.