Gigantic Tornado of Prayers Fails to Touch Down

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Giant column of prayers somehow fails once again to touch down. PHOTO: koschi

ATLANTA — A whirling column of prayers has been reported over the city of Atlanta early this week. Reports are that it is heading in a westerly direction, but there is no confirmation that it has actually made contact with the ground. In fact, though eyewitness reports of the tornado are plentiful, it has failed to be documented in any other way.

“Oh yeah it’s definitely there. I added a couple prayers to it myself,” confirmed Cary Less, speaking from an aging recliner in Acworth. “I posted on Facebook that I prayed too, so, you know. That’s evidence.”

Chay Fesler, 39, of Jonesboro, said “I tweeted about praying about that first around here, so I deserve the retweets and faves. Shows people care.”

Meteorologist Dr. Claude Eskigh, however, has said that his instruments have never picked up no such formation over the city despite their reported formation during tragedies, major sporting events, and popular television shows.

“While anyone can appreciate the outpouring of empathy, it’s demonstrably more effective to outpour resources such as money,” he said.

The Atlanta Banana has donated funds that otherwise would have been used to pay its writers to The Red Cross.