Georgia Legalizes Gay Marijuana

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2002
Gay marijuana is the best kind. It's just a lot more stylish, for one thing. PHOTO: Guilhelm Villut

ATLANTA–Georgia residents yesterday voted overwhelmingly to approve a referendum making gay marijuana legal for consumption. The substance, similar to normal marijuana but fitter, better looking, and a lot more fun to have at a party, will now be sold legally to the public via dispensary locations, though no special medical allowance will be necessary.

The news comes as a surprise to voters in the state, who can’t remember even seeing it on the ballot.

“This is the first I’m hearing of it,” said Hubert “Whitey” Cracker. “I admit I was pretty zoned out after waiting in line so long, but I’m pretty sure I’d vote against something like that. It sounds fun, and I’m against fun categorically.”

State officials are looking into the causes, but details are murky at this time.

Not everyone is upset. Proponents of letting the referendum stand say that residents should be able to do whatever they want within the confines of their own homes, as long as they are harming no one. Those against it say merely that it’s bad.

When pressed for details, groups against the bill repeated that it is bad, raising their voces the second time.

For now, at least, gay marijuana remains legal for consumption.

“Speaking for myself, I can’t wait to get a bong rip of that new gay marijuana,” said Paul Ofsmoke, 31. “Sit down on the couch, flip on the TV, then realize I’ve sobered up a few hours later with a better haircut and a clean apartment. Hell, I might even learn a few things about myself.”