European Comet Probe Installs Giant Black Scarf

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DARMSTADT, GERMANY–The European Space Agency is celebrating their Rosetta mission to Comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko today, as reports flood in that the mission’s robotic lander has not only made safe contact with the comet, but has safely installed a giant black scarf.

The multinational team couldn’t be happier with their success, though budget constraints early in the program forced them to abandon the black leather jacket and baguette they’d originally hoped to bring to the comet’s surface.

“Eet eez so verry niiice,” said Dr. Steyr Eyotipe, flight operations developer, taking a drag off of a cigarette held backwards. “Hee hee hee, honh honh honh.”