City Asks Atlanta Falcons to Move to Cobb County

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Seriously, guys. Think about moving to Cobb. It's nice there. Ask the Braves. PHOTO: Atlanta Falcons

ATLANTA–The City of Atlanta has issued a statement this morning publicly suggesting that the Falcons football team consider moving their entire operation to Cobb County, just like professional baseball club the Braves. In light of their loss last night to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, the Falcon’s 2013 performance is officially deemed by the city to be “shitty.”

“We were all saddened and hurt to learn that the Braves wanted to move out,” said Dave Jacobs, Mayor’s office spokesperson. “But it gave us an idea. We’d like them to take the Falcons with them to Cobb County.”

Jacobs went on to state that if the Falcons intend to have another season as bad as this one next year, the city wouldn’t mind if the Falcons went even farther, such as to Bartow or Cherokee counties.

As for the team itself, several players and members of the coaching staff have announced that 2014 will be a confidence building year during which the team will perfect its skills by winning games against college teams, high school teams, and blind teams.