Black Coworker Sick of Everyone Bitching About February

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Oh really? You hate February? How about shut up? PHOTO: MIke Baird

ATLANTA–After finding herself in “like the billionth” conversation with her colleagues about their mutual hatred of February, area woman Nia Evans abruptly returned to her desk yesterday afternoon, claiming she had “some stuff to do.”

“Look, I’m not trying to be dramatic or anything,” explained Evans. “But seriously? It’s our one month. Everyone needs to just calm the hell down.”

Evans went on: “I mean, Brenda got the whole office to wear pink in October, because Breast Cancer Awareness Month always has to be some huge deal. And no one even complained about Jonathan’s mustache in November, to raise awareness for his balls or whatever.”

“But then Black History Month comes along, and it’s like people couldn’t give two shits that Civil Rights even happened.”

Despite her best efforts to highlight the achievements of African-Americans around their shared workspace, Evans’ oblivious coworkers reportedly have not shied away from “incessant bitching” about February, citing primarily “shitty weather” and “Valentine’s Day” among their list of grievances.

“Literally two minutes after I hung that Maya Angelou poem in the break room, Cheryl wanders in, complaining about the cold and thanking God ‘that February is at least short’,” said Evans.

“Honestly, what the fuck?”

At press time, sources confirmed Evans was working in isolation at her cubicle while her coworkers alienated Hispanic employee Lucas Rodriguez by loudly discussing their common distrust of immigrants.

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J. Allison has been called "Atlanta's comedy writing darling." She came up with this title herself, but it's bound to catch on any day now. In her spare time, she writes "Lord of the Rings" fan fiction and quotes the parts of movies that no one else remembers. She also enjoys the movie "Twister."

5 COMMENTS

  1. This is true life. I’m gonna look over from now on before complaining about how much I hate this stupid month.

  2. Great read…im printing my Maya Angelou poem to pin up next to me “Oprah, Gayle, and Maya are BFF’s” pic!

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