ATLANTA–Center for Disease Control experts are reporting that many Atlantans are suffering from a disease which compels them to reveal as much of their skin as possible.
Women suffering from mild to moderate cases of the disease can be seen at any Buckhead nightclub, whereas more serious cases are typically confined to the home. Some unfortunate souls with advanced cases of this condition can be seen at special wards which are set up to simultaneously allow them the freedom to move around while protecting the general public from their dangly bits.
Wards for women are located at:
1837 Corporate Boulevard Northeast
887 Spring St NW
And the men’s ward is at:
1400 Northside Drive Northwest
Reporters spoke with Dr. Haiyo Dashushow, spokesman for the CDC.
“I myself suffer from a mild case of this condition, as you can tell from the way I forego typical doctoring garb for a white speedo with a stethoscope tucked in the side,” Dr. Dashushow stated. “It causes no pain, but can result in feelings of shame should photos end up on Facebook.”
“Remember,” he continued, “Don’t let anyone post photos on Facebook. Ever. That shit will never go away. Trust me.”