Atlanta City Council Pledges to Clean Up Cheshire Bridge Just as Soon as it Sobers Up

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We gotta get these strippers out of here! Now help me put the bumper back on my car. PHOTO: Ed Schipul

ATLANTA–Members of the city council, acting on behalf of neighborhood residents, are considering a resolution to “sunset” adult businesses along Cheshire Bridge by the year 2015, which should give the Council just enough time to sober up and possibly even get its driving licenses back.

Speaking from the Council’s car, which was weaving erratically in the incorrect lane of travel, Councilwoman Helga Styles slurred the following comment:

Have you guys… seriously. Wait. Guys. Have you ever? Buh. Where’s Jessica? JESSICA! There you are. Hurgh. Oh fuck itsa cops!

Councilman Herbert Wilmington, speaking from a prone position in the back seat added:

Cobs!

The Council declined further comment until after its DUI arrest and subsequent release from jail on bond.