Atlanta Beltline receives Cease and Desist order from Washington DC’s Beltway

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WASHINGTON, DC–The Capitol Beltway, also known as I495, has sent a cease and desist order to the Atlanta Beltline, Inc, the corporation responsible for handling Atlanta’s metropolitan greenway improvements, saying that the use of the word “belt” in “Beltline” was too close to their “Capitol Beltway” nomenclature.

The statement read:

The District of Columbia and surrounding states objects to this conflicting use of the word “belt,” as well as to the use of a capital “L” in the middle of the world “BeltLine,” though the second matter is merely one of taste and not a legal concern. Everyone knows intercapping is super dumb.

Pressure from the Beltway comes on the heels of the BeltLine’s assertion that so-called “Beltline & Co,” an Atlanta startup, has infringed upon the BeltLine’s nomenclature, but sources close to the startup reminded reporters that Beltline & Co pointedly left out the capital “L” in “Beltline” because “we don’t want to look like a bunch of late 90’s goons.”

Rumors are that Sansabelt — pioneers of elastic waistbanded slacks for lazy men who wish to forego a belt — is also considering legal action.