Atheists Battle to Have Their Texts Ignored Just as Much as Bible

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The Gutenberg Bible is stored in a hermetically sealed motel nightstand. PHOTO: Mark Pellegrini

CARTERSVILLE–Atheists are making a joyful noise this morning as word comes from the governor’s office that their group is allowed to place atheist texts in state park cabins, where they can be ignored every bit as much as the bibles already there.

“This is a great victory,” said Nan Bleever, 42, mother of three and U.S. Atheists President. “Our fair-minded publications can now be used just as much as the bible, for swatting flies or possibly as a hard surface on which to jot down a note for example.”

Bleever went on to point out that at least one person in the history of time has probably opened a book they found in a state park cabin, possibly in hopes that a dollar bill or an unused postage stamp might fall out.

“Oh I definitely think this will make a difference,” she said, when pressed for a decent quote to wrap up an article. “People change their minds all the time upon careful review of reasoned, well-stated evidence.”