APD Warns Atlanta Streets “Full of Ice Holes”

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Warning: ice holes abound

ATLANTA, GA–APD Maj. Cole Dazbalze spoke to reporters this morning, warning citizens against getting on the roads, saying roadways are “full of ice holes.” Atlantans are urged to stay home except for emergency situations, but some have ignored these concerns.

“Today is a bad day to drive,” said Maj. Dazbalze. “Despite warnings and plowing efforts, many of our major arteries are filling up with dangerous ice holes.”

Sources close to the mayor’s office say that there’s similar frustration there. City leaders are doing everything they can to keep people safe and warm, but the ice holes just keep appearing on the road.

“When a car drives over the surface of ice, the pressure of the tire causes a little bit of the ice to melt, forming a boundary layer of liquid water between the tire and ice, which is extremely slippery,” said Maj. Dazbalze. “You may see cars on the road today, but we urge you not to join them. Every car you see is dealing with ice holes.”

When asked if Atlanta has a history of ice holes on the road, the Major was emphatic.

“Absolutely. We have ice holes on the road all the time. But today they’re particularly iceholish.”

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