Aging Father Has No Idea How Much His Children Love Him on Facebook

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PHOTO: Diego Fornero

ATLANTA, GA–Vincent Pernod, 78, is spending his twilight years awash in the warm glow of the love of his two children, Kathy, 32, and Will, 35, according to Facebook status updates. Both children regularly post “throwback thursday” photos of themselves with Pernod, and wrote lengthy statuses about their love of their father for Father’s Day.

Said Kathy Dunson (née Pernod):

Thank you so much to my father Vincent for everything he does for me. I love you so much, Dad!

Dunson then concluded her status update with a series of applicable emojis.

Will Pernod spoke similarly about his father:

Here’s me and Dad fishing way back when. Don’t I look great? Happy Father’s day, Dad!

When asked how that outpouring of brightened his life, Pernod said “What? Katherine said something to me? When? Did you see her or William? I miss them so much.” Pernod said that he’d attempted many times to learn how to use the “computer thing,” but that he wished his kids would just call or bring the grandchildren by some time.

“I try to look at the computer once in a while but I don’t see Katherine or William on there,” said Pernod. “When it works at all it just plays advertisements.”

Pernod said maybe it was his fault for waiting so late in life to have children, or perhaps he’d done something to make his kids mad.

“I just wish they would get in touch with me. That’s all,” said Pernod.