5 Fashion Tips for a Night on the Town with your Gun in Georgia

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With Georgia’s extremely permissive attitude toward firearms legislation now signed into law, firearms are more legal than ever in bars. But what does that mean for looking your best so you can meet that special someone while armed to the teeth?

Tip 1: Long Guns are the Wrong Guns – Hey, nobody loves an AR-15 more than we do, and we have the hot brass burns on the privates to show for it. But there’s just no good way to bring a proper long gun out to the nightclubs. Opt for something a little easier to brandish quickly during a drug deal that’s about to turn tragic.

Tip 2: Caliber is King – You don’t want to come on too strong on the dating scene, and you also don’t want to be lugging around five pounds of cold steel all night. But don’t worry, even a discreet .22 caliber round can end someone’s life in a drunken brawl, not to mention a 9mm hollow point, so leave that .50 cal Desert Eagle at home!

Tip 3: Glocks Look Good and Rhyme Best – Of course, Glock’s handguns are designed to be hammerless, so it doesn’t really make any sense to say “I got my Glock cocked,” but when the sexual puns start flying later no one’s going to call you on it. Better to have a Glock that rhymes easily with “cock” than a handful of loneliness at the end of the night because you weren’t the wittiest. They also look nice and futuristic!

Tip 4: Conceal More than One Weapon – Dancing close with that special someone? Things getting hot and heavy? Don’t scare her off by letting her brush up against anything that might let on how interested you really are. Conceal that turgid member by opting for a front of the pants carry, or play hardball by going with a hip carry and letting the chips fall where they may!

Tip 5: Handbags are Big Drags – Hey, gun rights have won a major victory here, so ladies, don’t stow your piece away in your purse. Wear that lump of America proudly underneath your little black dress. Some might call it an unsightly lump in your dress, but those people are liberals who are ruining America. Fuck ’em!