Atlanta's Serious News Hole
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WEST END–Atlanta’s Clown College has announced today that researchers have successfully completed their years-long search for the Hobo-Bozo particle. Postulated in 1964 by Hobo the Clown, sidekick to Bozo on WGN Chicago’s syndicated Bozo The Clown show, the particle explains comedy, one of the most fundamental properties of a joke. According to Hobo’s theory, all [...]
ATLANTA–When Crystal Bahl, 23, drunkenly slept with with Jim Dandy, 19, after a college party, she had no idea that she was entering into a committed relationship. “I had recently ended a long relationship and was on a kind of ‘sexual walk-about’ when I hooked up with Jimmy,” Bahl said. “Ugh! I gotta stop drinking [...]
ATLANTA–The National Trust for Historic Preservation added The Atlanta Cyclorama & Civil War Museum to its 2012 list of America’s Most Historically Overrated Places, which highlights examples of sites that continuously underwhelm visitors to America’s cities every year.The Cyclorama was first nominated to the list in 2002 but was beat out by Underground Atlanta. “When [...]
EUROPE–According to international reports, people in Switzerland, which is a state in the country of Europe, are still doing science for some reason. They persist with their science-related doings despite all evidence that America is completely over it, and has been for a long time. Over the last few days, Europe has released a series [...]
ATLANTA–Atlanta Mayor Joaquin Snead announced the official Independance Day drinking game for 2012 this morning, called “Fireworks or Gunshots.” In it, participants try to guess whether the explosions they are hearing over the Atlanta skyline on the evening of their nation’s birthday are joyful fireworks or incoming small arms fire. “Everyone knows we have a [...]
ATLANTA — After over a day and a half of waiting, Pete Abred, 33, raised his hands in triumph upon entering the Crawling Pancake Cafe on Sunday. “I made it!”, said the Duluth native clad in a space blanket for warmth as he broke the Guiness Book World Record for waiting in line for brunch. [...]
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